Features

Sir: I’m a big fan of your publication, despite the fact I am illiterate and dead. Here are some parts I’ve really enjoyed:
News: I like reading about things which are happening around Uni, and am particularly keen to find out about new Facebook groups people have created. Indeed, I don’t find it at all trivial, and wish you could devote the whole section to social networking, with a particular focus on status updates giving details about things including, but not limited to:
• Eating a sandwich
• Using the toilet
• Going to the shops to buy something, but finding it is out of stock

Get Down On It

That song comes on the radio and you can't hold back that cheeky smile as memories of a saucy encounter flood into your head and rush through your body. The last thrust, the look of sheer satisfaction on their face, and then rolling over just to enjoy the moment; a moment of bliss shared to the sound of that perfect song. The Sexperts have done their homework and compiled a list of albums for you to add to your iTunes Between-the-Sheets collection, selected by you, dear readers.

A dummy’s guide to your Year Abroad

It has come to my attention that as I am finishing my year abroad, many of you will be embarking upon yours. Be prepared for a crazy year, full of incredibly good times, new friends and amazing experiences. However it will also be one of the most challenging years you’ve ever had. So I’ve decided to put together a little dummy’s guide, with helpful tips on the things I found the most difficult during my work placement in Paris and Erasmus semester in Rome.

Accommodation

Food for Thought

For this, the last installment of our foodie adventures around Bath, we have decided to give you something a little different. Elinor will give you a quick round-up of what she believes to be the best Bath has to offer, for any occasion, while Charlotte reviews the Moon and Sixpence and proffers an indulgent chocolate celebratory cake.

The best of a brilliant bunch

What’s the longest train journey in the UK?
At 13 hours 22 minutes, the 08.20 weekday service from Aberdeen to Penzance, on the tip of Cornwall, notches up the record for the UK’s longest single journey without changes – after spending the whole day onboard, you’ll pull in to Penzance just before 10pm. The fare’s one for the records, too - £196.00 for a single, dropping to £129.35 with a 16-25 railcard.

Capricorn (22 December-20 January): “I was in Plymouth recently, and a
40-year-old black man asked me why a group of Australians tried to
grind him up and put him in tagliatelli con sardines”.

Aquarius (21 January-19 February): In the wise words of Arnold
Schwarzenegger “gay marriage is something that should be between a man
and a woman.”

Pisces (20 February-20 March): The stars tell me bad luck is coming
your way. However, their message is slightly delayed as they’re about
1,000 light years away: bad luck is actually coming your way 1,000
years ago.

Four weeks’ time and the end of exams signifies summer (whether or not the temperature has yet reached 15 degrees).
So, what can we expect to be wearing during the dreaded season of leg-baring?

Yes, you’ve guessed it, hot pants and boy shorts are back – with a vengeance. If hemlines could get any shorter, they just have. So now is the time to make use of those offers at the gym.

Obviously the classic summer item, the maxi-dress, is back. Remember, for those of you who don’t quite make the Kate Moss height requirement, small prints are best, they may even add an inch or two.

The vision of an equitable future inside and outside the academy is critically dependent on reworking what it means to assume a sense of “I” - an agency that is subjectively negotiated. Reading students as queer uses queer theory to queer (hetero)normative “identity” practices in contemporary classrooms vis-à-vis identificatory practices and performative acts of classroom participants. This paper works towards disrupting binary discourses of identity — discourses that prohibit the realization of identificatory fluidity and mobility amongst classroom participants.

Two of my more politically-minded housemates and I sat and watched Nick, Dave and Gordy doing their best to convince a rather weirdly chosen studio audience that they had the political ‘X Factor’ (a comparison attempting to reach out to the cultural masses that, personally, made me want to hurl).

Leave early on the Saturday morning and take the train from Bath Spa – changing at Didcot Parkway, you’ll be in Oxford in just under 90 minutes (super off-peak return from £15.80). Take a three-minute walk to drop your bags off at the Central Backpackers hostel on Park End Street (dorms from £17 per night; www.centralbackpackers.co.uk), then head off and grab a student ticket for the City Sightseeing tour bus.