Capricorn (22 December-20 January): Your Bath Half time was
unbelievable: you finished two weeks before the race. Next time, be a little subtler with your cheating.
Aquarius (21 January-19 February): In the wise words of Dwight Eisenhower, “The world is more like it is now than it ever has been before”
Pisces (20 February-20 March): It’s easier to seek forgiveness than to
ask permission, but easier still to deny it ever happened: just ask Radovan Karadžić.
Aries (21 March-20 April): If you can’t see the appeal of autoerotic
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