When I’m bored, or procrastinating or insomnious or waiting for the kettle to boil, the cookies to bake or the Yorkshires to rise, I often let my mind wander and ponder the philosophical questions to which I will never be able to come up with a rational answer which I can be certain is accurate. Think of Amelie -- at the beginning of the film by the same name -- her fleeting mind trying to fathom just how many people in Paris are experiencing an orgasm in that very moment.
Romantic at heart, and intrigued by the endless schism which divide and bond the sexes, I often let my mind drift into that department. Do opposites attract? Does love at first sight exists? And most commonly, how could I conquer a man’s heart?
As I do in most situations in which I’m stuck for an answer, I resort to Google. Answerology.com was the first to jump at my question. “Men marry for convenience” my cyber guru tells me. “Extra income, someone to do maid duty, chef duty, mom duties, and regular-booty-duty” it adds. I’m sceptical. Women on the other hand, “marry for love”. Something tells me that answerology.com is a female if not feminist.
matchdoctor.com is my next point of call. “True passionate sex can engulf a man’s heart and trigger a psychological effect, causing him to react in a loving and caring manner.” So contrary to what I’ve always believed, the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, but through sex? I like to think I have more faith in mankind.
Next I’m drawn to a site called waystoseduceamaneasy.com. If nomen really est omen then I think I’m on to a winner. I read on:
“Men (...) like to be in control, and feel that they are directing their lives. This is why they resist asking for directions, and always insist they know where they are going. A man will be attracted to a woman that he needs, to go after himself, rather than one that throws herself at him. It gives him the feeling of being in control of his actions, rather then being pushed into something.”
Did I ever say I wanted to conquer a man’s heart? You must have misunderstood me. I should get going and start writing about some real stuff.
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